Women often lean on one other for emotional comfort, advice and as a sounding board when times get rough. This is most often true when it comes to relationships. Over the years I’ve wondered if I have a sign on my head that says I know something that my single status might otherwise suggest. So, even though I am unsure of my qualifications, I leave my shingle out and take part in the therapy sessions as they come.
But here is the kicker, every time my friends ask me for advice (and I only give it when asked these days) 95% of the time they don’t listen. Well, okay they listen and they confirm that I give good advice and that is exactly what they should do…they just don’t. I asked one of my friends once what made me a good place to go to when romance issues came up, since I don’t do very well at my own romances? She said just because I don’t listen to my advice doesn’t mean it’s not valuable to others. Ok, I thought she might have a point. Plus, let’s face it these little conversations make great fodder for characters, story lines and this here blog.
So, in honor of my exceptional advice that is almost never taken I am going to list some of my favorite moments as an unpaid couples counselor.
Q: He says she is just a friend and I shouldn’t worry, should I worry?
A: He’s right don’t worry…dump him, any man who won’t stop being “friends” with a woman who makes you feel uncomfortable has already leveled her status up to more than a friend.
Q: If he isn’t cheating what does he have to hide?I figure he should be happy to give me all his passwords and let me check his phone.
A: The more you look for something to be mad or jealous about the more you will find. And if he is gonna cheat, he is gonna cheat, no babysitting you can do is going to stop that. Not to mention the time and energy spying requires. Keep him or lose him, but save yourself and don’t babysit the man. Oh and half the time when you do catch them their excuse is “Well you kept accusing me all the time, so I figured if I was gonna be called a cheater all the time I might as well cheat!” Is it lame yes, so put yourself in that position.
Q: What if he cheats on me like all the rest, maybe I should just quit now?
A: Never quit! Never assume that people, that men are all the same. There are good ones out there. And if you are open to receiving one, he will find you. Don’t make your current love, pay for the mistakes of the ones who came before him.
These are the typical talks I find myself having and it seems that my gal pals like my hourly rate 🙂 It’s a special thing about women friends, a good gal pal means you are NEVER alone! So, even though they don’t listen, I will continue to listen to them.