The Ruins of Soul Mates

I recently ran across a video discussing the origination of the soul mate and what it means to folks today, (Should We Stop Believing in Soul Mates).

Here is a break down of one possible origination:

Zeus via Clip Art

<—— Zeus here, got angry at the humans; as he tended to do in his day, and for this he split humans in half.  In mythology there was talk of humans having two heads, four limbs, two of everything, but for the soul.

When Zeus split humans he separated their souls and declared that they wouldn’t be whole again, unless their souls could find each once more. (talk about a Greek tragedy, but you’ve gotta love his flair for the dramatic)

He sure seems like a cranky guy, doesn’t he?

Fast forward to the modern world and studies of relationships based on how people view the concept of a soul mate.

20140805-075922-28762127.jpgResearchers have found, according to this same video, that those who believe in the idea that there is only one person, another half to their soul, experience more passionate relationships, but cannot sustain them as often.

On the flip side, couples who believe in finding a partner, someone to go on a journey in life with tend to weather storms better.

Soul mates don’t handle the ups and downs as well, because when things become a struggle they start to worry that maybe they didn’t find their soul mate, maybe they made a mistake and their soul mate is still out there – meaning they cut and run, looking for something, someone, better.

All the while, those with a more realistic approach take the bumps and bruises of love, life and relationships, in stride, knowing they can work it out and that their might not be greener grass next door.

I know for me, when I was young and in love, married to my elementary school sweetheart, I thought for sure we were soul mates. How could I not? I watched and read fairy tales, like anyone else. Plus, it was nice to think I had managed to find the other half of my soul. It’s a wonderful and inspiring idea.

One divorce later and I had to revamp my thoughts. To be honest, I’m still uncertain how I feel about a romantic soul mate. I lean more towards the idea that if I have one, it could very well be a very dear friend. Otherwise, I have to admit that I was wrong about the first man or decide you only get one shot and now I have to wait until my next Zeusey life to find my other half a soul again.

It sure seems to me the better bandwagon to hop on, is the one with a greater success rate – partnership through a journey.

Tell us what you think, is there only one soul mate for every person? Do you think there can be more than one? Maybe a romantic one and a non-romantic one or do you refute the entire concept and think you just have to find someone you can sail through the good and bad times with, a friend and a lover combined?

Thanks for stopping by and please check out our boxed set, filled with stories of love, hope and happiness. Let’s hope all our couples on Main Street can stand anything that Zeus throws their way! 🙂

Wishing you well in fiction and in life,
Kelly Rae

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9 Responses to The Ruins of Soul Mates

  1. Carol says:

    Interesting post, Kelly. If you’re lucky enough to meet your soul mate, then it’s wonderful to have that special person on which to lean. Not all are so blessed.

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  2. susanrhughes says:

    I don’t know if I believe in soul mates, per se. You can connect with different people – lovers and friends – over your lifetime, and all of them can be your “better half” in different ways.

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  3. E. Ayers says:

    Call it dumb luck, but I know what a soul mate is. But if we take Zeus’ attitude about it, that means that reincarnation must happen for us to find that love over and over. I about write that special love and not everyone sees it as such. I’m not even certain I did when I married. I remember telling my soon-to-be husband that I had no clue what it was to be happily married for I’d never actually seen it. He point blank said divorce was never going to be an option for him so for better or worse was I certain I wanted to try? A little more discussion about personalities and being who we were and we agreed that there was something there and we just had to keep at it.

    So having had a soul mate, does that mean I’ll never find another person? At the rate I’m going, I’d be content to find a friend with shared interests, whose company I enjoy, and spend whatever is left of my time with that person. But I’ve never bothered to look and so far no one has appeared on my doorstep.

    I do know that my grandmother found her true love at 73. She had married young and had a slew of children by a man whom she loved, but he died young. She married again about 10 years later. He was probably 20-25 years her senior. She had some security being married to him and he was thrilled with a younger wife. Then he died and she was alone again. She figured twice was more than enough. Then after being widowed for another ten years, a man she vaguely knew became a widower. They started to see one another – just for a little company once in a while. She fell head-over-heels in love and so did he. He said he never regretted the first 50 years of marriage but he never knew true happiness until he found my grandmother. (Isn’t that sweet?)

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  4. leighmorgan1 says:

    Plato’s theory was much the same. One entity embodying male and female, then when split the one becomes two separate beings, then inevitably coming together again to form a whole. For such an unromantic kind of guy, it’s a fairly romantic thought.

    I think, if you’re lucky enough to have someone in your life who makes you feel more whole, more complete, or like smiling every time you think of them, then they are certainly a friend of your soul.

    There’s a Gaelic term for this: ANAM CARA, soul friend or friend of the soul. It sounds like you have at least one, Kelly. Romantic friend or not, that’s a gift. Here’s to friends of the soul…may we have at least one in our life-times. Thanks for the post!

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  5. Kristy Tate says:

    It’s interesting to me how after more than 30 years, my husband is more perfectly suited to me than he ever was before. I don’t know if that’s because we are perfectly suited (each other’s other half) or because we’ve grown that way–learning how to fill in each other’s blanks and picking up when the other drops a ball. I think it’s like a dance you have to learn and the interesting thing is it’s always changing! Empty nest hood is playing a different song than the one we danced when our house was full of children.

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  6. Thanks ladies for all of the great comments and stories about your own life and soul mates. The funny thing for me, is that the reason I found who I consider my souls mate, is because of my ex-husband. Marrying him brought me to a lot of the people I love in my life. My son of course, but that’s a given. 🙂

    It was so fun reading your take on soul mates and it made me so happy to find so much love, respect, and joy amongst this group, in regards to your spouses. It really warms the heart to hear about the true loves, no wonder you’re all so great at writing the fictional ones!

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    • E. Ayers says:

      Life is full of twists and turns, when the time is right, you’ll find someone special. There were so many times my husband and I had paths that intersected but we had never met. And when we did, fate stepped in and forced us together. I’m a hopeless romantic so just keep kissing the frogs until one turns into a handsome prince! It’ll happen.

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  7. monarisk says:

    I don’t know if I believe in soul mate. But I certainly believe in never take a relationship for granted. I made myself a few rules before getting married and I followed them. 1- Never sleep angry. Talk until you solve the crisis. 2-Respect each other. It’s as important as love. 3- Show love daily. 4-Never keep secret from one another. 5- Be flexible. It seems to have worked. We still love each other after so many years.

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  8. Joan Reeves says:

    Interesting post, Kelly. I think I believe in soul mates because my husband and I are that to each other, but it wasn’t something we went looking for. We stumbled upon each other so maybe that was Fate. I think if you go out looking for your soul mate, you’re destined to be disappointed. Perhaps, the soul mate thing is something you recognize after the fact?

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