Pink Hats

2015-07-15 15.25.26Well my lovelies, it’s been one heck of a year. I lost my dad, then my dog, and not to be outdone, my mother. Losing my dad was hard. His estate is still in play—not that he had much, but isn’t that always the case. Tomorrow, right after I push the button for my mother’s cremation, I meet with a realtor to list the home my father lived in.

My mom’s memorial service was held last evening, which seemed to me to be all kinds of backwards. But, I wasn’t given a say in when it was planned. It was a lovely service—one I’m sure she would have been happy with had she attended. Tomorrow, I will be the one to push the button for my mom, as I did for my dad; not to say goodbye, but to be there for her body’s last journey. It is important to me to show her that honor. My mother, being half Norwegian, also had a thing for Viking funerals (really), so this gift is even more apropos than it may otherwise appear.

So why the pink hat?

My mom was a flamboyant soul with many talents and many loves, among those loves was a passion for color. Color brought her joy. Color enhanced her life. Colorful describes her perfectly. I wore the same black dress for mom’s funeral as I did for my dad’s. It’s lovely, with pink flowers embroidered on sateen black with sweeping bright green stems. I painted my toenails vibrant pink, and used the same shade on all but two of my fingernails, which I painted the same verdant green as the green on my dress.

Then, I found my hat.2015-07-15 16.07.02

I went to three hat stores in two counties until I found the perfect iridescent pink derby hat. I’d already purchased a black and white hat that was lovely and would have been far more funeral appropriate, but I couldn’t help it, when I saw the lovely pink hat, I had to have it.

Some attendees raised a brow at the cotton-candy confection on my head. A few looked askance at my less than subtle display of nail color. Those who truly knew my mom’s soul smiled at me and grinned at the hat.

Mom would have loved it.

My dad was a country lawyer. My mom was a speech pathologist and special education administrator. They were both highly educated, multi-faceted people who loved life, people, and bad jokes. They were good parents. They were exceptional grandparents. Both laughed freely and often. Both took their work seriously. Neither took themselves seriously.

I will miss them both.

Both will live in my heart and in my children’s eyes.

My father was fond of saying: No One Gives You Tomorrow. He was right. That’s why I’m sporting a pink hat today, thankful that I’m here and that I have loved ones to hold.

2015-07-15 16.22.12May you dance when you can, love long and often, laugh at yourself and the vagaries of this wonderful life, and may you always chose the pink hat instead of the black one.



or perhaps you’ll choose one like these

2015-07-15 16.08.452015-07-15 16.06.192015-07-15 16.06.162015-07-15 16.05.39

29 thoughts on “Pink Hats

    • We buried mother in her favorite pajama’s in the last few years she had decided that she was more comfortable and looked just as good in pretty pj’s; she had always worn gowns before and felt compelled to dress for the day as soon as she finished her coffee. She would accept so little in those years that we flooded her with pretty pajamas.

      Liked by 3 people

      • Jeanie, I love the pajama idea. I think it’s wonderful to celebrate a whole life and to honor who are parents were at their passing. I bet your mom would have loved that you put her in her favorite thing to wear. Thanks for the smile.


  1. Oh Leigh, I’m so sorry for your losses this year. I’ve been there with my father’s passing. I love the pink hat! Blessings to you and I’m sending angels to watch over you and your family. You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Dear, N., I looked back on my posts and realized I never commented on my dad’s life. He left way before we thought and I still haven’t come to a place where I can talk about it. I will share when I can. Until then, I’ll be wearing PINK & all kinds of colors I’d have long since left behind.

      Liked by 5 people

  2. So sorry for all of your losses but it is obvious that along with the pain, you will have many wonderful memories to cherish and laugh over. As you talk to that part of her that is in your heart feel a hug not just from her but from all of us who have shared those moments.too. Honoring a person’s memory the right way for them is an important part of life. Good job!

    Liked by 5 people

  3. I lost both my parents many years ago, but I still believe that when we say I do, we make a choice, and our family becomes what we make from that moment forward. It is the natural order of things. Find comfort in your hubby’s arms in the smiles of your children.

    The pink hat was perfect because it was what your mom would have loved! My mom would have been appalled at that black pointed hat on me, but she would have shook her head yet still accepted my nonconformist attire. My grandmother would have laughed and thought it was a hoot!

    Say Slainte! Cry a little or a lot, and put one foot in front of the other. That’s a lot in one year for anyone, but you still have your family. Count your blessings!

    Liked by 5 people

    • I think she would have loved it, Carol. Yesterday I put a copy of all the poems I received for her into her box along with a paper Viking ship my husband made for her before we sent her on her way. I know she would have loved that too. I think these small rituals help.


  4. Leigh, thank you for such a personal post that made me feel as if I knew your mother too. Larry and I have lost both sets of parents so I know the pain you’ve gone through this year. It’s just damned hard, and there’s no getting around that fact. As time goes on, the love you shared and the wonderful memories you have will soften the pain. God bless you and keep you and yours.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you, Joan. I think you would have gotten a kick out of my mom had the two of you met. I know she would have enjoyed meeting you. Blessings to you and your family as well. ❤


  5. Thanks, Pepper. Hats make the inner self come alive. We should all wear gloriously flamboyant hats whenever we celebrate. Hats help make a memory~especially a memory about who we are, or who we hope to be. Either way, we all look better in a hat.


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