Coming to the end of the year we all tend to get retrospective and I’m no exception. (Myren is an exception. He never talks about his past. Hmmm, I wonder… Oh, never ever mind–back to retrospection…). The tendency may be to think about the big moments, like weddings and births. These are more like events than moments and clearly changed our lives. But there are those smaller moments too, if we look back and remember them, that might have had an unexpected impact. I remembered one from my past, and recognized it as life changing years later.
I was seventeen years old and sitting in the front seat of my car with a guy I was mad about. It was a cold Tuesday afternoon. He was exciting and handsome and funny and I had hopes for us. I remember how my chest bubbled with my heart beating so hard and how jumpy with giddiness I was to be in close quarters with him. To be flirting with him.
He said: Did you go to the movies Saturday night?
I said: No.
He said: That’s too bad.
He seemed flustered. I was puzzled.
I said: Not really.
He left the car abruptly and went back to his basketball practice. It was February vacation week. The next time I saw him was unexpectedly three days later. At a wake. For his father.
He was heartbroken. His gorgeous blue eyes were rimmed in red. I tried to comfort him. He rebuffed me. He was aloof and hardly met my eyes. He was stiff when I hugged him and he said nothing in response to my words of condolence. Not even a nod.
I was more than puzzled now. I was confused and distressed, but I reasoned that he was clearly upset and going through emotional upheaval. There was no way I should expect to make sense of his behavior. So I let him be.
When we got back to school the next week, it was worse. He didn’t speak to me, didn’t sit with me in study hall the way he used to and wouldn’t even look at me or say hello in the halls. I asked his sister, a friend of mine, about it and she didn’t know what was wrong. I was devastated. He’d rejected me completely. I had no choice, so I moved on. And I had no idea what went wrong,
Not until much later.
Later I realized my mistake. Now and then I’d think about him and wonder how he was and what might have been between us. How we might have had something. As time went by, I gained objectivity as my hurt cleared. I’d had no idea at the time what went wrong. Until one day, realization dawned and broke open a whole new abyss of hurt and regret.
It was a simple misunderstanding. A small moment that changed my life.
He’d said: Do you want to go to the movies Saturday night?
Do you have any of those moments that unexpectedly changed your life? Please share! You can read all about life-changing moments for ex-special ops legend Dane Blaise as he struggles through his partnership and desire for ex Scotland Yard detective and knock-out Shana George in the Beachcomber Investigations series. The first in series prequel is FREE on iBooks: The Beachcombers. Get it now!
If you share one of your moments in the comments you will be entered in a drawing to win a copy of Beachcomber Investigations, book one of the series.