“Real” Moms and Their Kids

me and my babies09182014

Me and my babies too many years ago

“I don’t think she misses those kids at all. They weren’t her real kids, you know. They were adopted. You can tell she never loved them–not the way she loves the kids she had naturally with her new husband.”

This statement was uttered by a coworker yesterday regarding the long-ago breakup of a celebrity couple and the subsequent fallout to their children’s relationship with Mom due to Dad’s involvement in a religious cult.  

There are a lot of times I have to zip my lip or run to the ladies room to bang my head against a hard surface during the day job. My brow is still throbbing after this one.

I’m fortunate that I know all kinds of mothers, and let me assure you the giving birth aspect of motherhood has nothing to do with the love any of them have for their children. Every one of them is a real mother who considers all of her children her “real” children. It doesn’t matter if these are natural children of the parents, adopted children, foster children, grandchildren they’re caring for, or…yes…furbabies. Take it from me. No one spends years cleaning up poop and puke, dabbing bloody knees, gushing over dandelion bouquets, worrying about missed curfews, and comforting broken hearts because there’s nothing decent on television. You do it out of love: deep, unconditional, abiding love. 

A real mother is emotionally invested in every one of her children. She does not have less love for one than another. She loves all her children equally, but uniquely. What do I mean by uniquely? Just as each child is an individual, a real mom’s love reflects that same level of individuality. She’ll know, and be able to recite in the blink of an eye, her children’s flaws and gifts. She can tell you which one is gullible, which one is the leader, which one feels too deeply, and/or which one is the creative dreamer. She knows their likes and dislikes, can name her children’s best friends, favorite activities, the meals they dislike, their best and worst school subjects. When one of her children hurts, there’s no difference in the measurement of her empathy based on the circumstances of their birth. When one of her children makes her happy, she couldn’t care less if she carried that one inside her for nine months. The real mother is proud of all her children’s triumphs, commiserates with their disappointments. Real moms are human. Sometimes, they make mistakes. But the depth of their love is never one of them. 

This Sunday, here in the States, we’ll honor those real moms for all they’ve done for us. To celebrate, I’ve placed my Calendar Girls novella, CHARMING FOR MOTHER’S DAY, on sale for 99 cents for ten days, beginning today. This holiday story introduces readers to the town of Snug Harbor, where all my Calendar Girls stories take place. Colin Murriere has returned to Snug Harbor, the winning chef from a reality cooking show, ready to win back the girl he left behind. Lucie Soto’s life took a downward spiral when Colin broke up with her after a summer fling years ago. Now a single mom struggling to maintain a normal life, Lucie wants nothing to do with him or his dreams of a shining future. But her daughter, Ariana, an expert on fairy tales, knows Prince Charming when she sees him and will stop at nothing to bring these two their Happily-Ever-After.

Charming Promo

Happy Mother’s Day to all the real moms. It may not always seem like it, but we know we’re the luckiest kids in the world because you’re ours!

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About ginaarditoauthor

Writer, mother, wife, killer of innocent houseplants
This entry was posted in Gina's Posts and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to “Real” Moms and Their Kids

  1. adventures says:

    I completely agree with you. All my children biological or not are my crown. I love them all the same & only people with hearts incapable of doing so make those comments that make you bang your head 😉

    Liked by 3 people

  2. susanrhughes says:

    Well said. I received a couple of dandelion bouquets the other day.

    Liked by 3 people

    • ginaarditoauthor says:

      My dandelion bouquet days are over for now (until grandkids may come along, but I’m in no rush for that). Still, I wouldn’t trade the memories for all the money in the world.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. E. Ayers says:

    I have an adopted nephew, and I promise I love him as much as he were one of my own. I promise no one stops to think this child isn’t blood related when he’s puking his last three months of food on you, taking his first steps, jumping on the school bus for the first time, or pulling the chair up so he can make Christmas cookies with me. Actually that thought never crossed my brain. He’s now a grown man and I still love him. Yes, I know he’s not blood, but that doesn’t make one iota of difference.

    Liked by 3 people

    • ginaarditoauthor says:

      Exactly! My cousins have several foster children they’ve adopted–all special needs. They love those kids the same way they love their blood children. Only idiots would think a mother could turn her back on a child she’s raised simply because she didn’t carry him/her for nine months.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Hear, hear! I feel the same way,
    Thanks Gina!!
    xx
    Lizzi

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Carol says:

    Your first comment from a co-worker almost brought me to tears. Thanks for such a moving post. Love the photo of you and your children!

    Liked by 2 people

    • ginaarditoauthor says:

      Oh, trust me. It’s no joke that some of the comments I hear make me bang my head. As to the photo, the baby in that stroller is now 20 years old. I think I need to update my pics. LOL

      Liked by 1 person

  6. jackiemaurer says:

    I had lots of moms growing up—my biological mom, my step-mom, my BFF’s mom (times a few), my dance mom (She always took us out for ice cream after), my grandMom, my adopted Canadian mum who has been my back corner neighbor for 20 years…the list could go on. I haven’t lived near my hometown for a good twenty-five years now. With the exception of my grandma who had already passed, all these women came to my mom’s wake and hugged me as if I was still one of their own. Moms are awesome. Happy Mother’s Day to all of you! ❤

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Mona Risk says:

    Gina, what a great post. And so well written, I’m getting your book right away. In my Holiday Babies Series, I have written about adopted babies, surrogate mothers, stepchildren,… who are all lucky to have real wonderful family.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Kristy says:

    Love this. I get teary eyed every time I think of my grandson’s birth mom. I love her so much–even though we’ve never met–for giving my son and his wife their precious baby boy.

    Liked by 1 person

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