Even At A Wedding, We Need Jack

While wedding season is upon us here on Authors of Main Street, we still need someone out there keeping those streets clean from the riff-raff–such as those who will try to photobomb the bride and groom.

Or worse–just bomb them.

This calls for Jack Bauer.

A nice segueway to a little fan squee, right?

As a huge fan of the show 24, I’m absolutely thrilled Jack is back.

We need him–especially since Breaking Bad has ended, and Justified and Downtown Abbey are between seasons. And to take out that suspicious guy carrying in floral bouquets. He’s probably a terrorist.

Jack won’t make a scene. You’ll probably never even know a take down went down. He’s that good.

And one thing about Jack–he’s always on time–even when he’s running out of it.

This season’s first episode, Day 9, opens with Jack wanted by the government as a suspect in a planned hit on the president. William Devane returns to the show, this time as President Heller (we loved him as Secretary of Defense) and this plot line is especially dear to my heart as it involves Audrey Raines–the great love of Jack’s life (post Teri).

 

Aww, yeah.

Another favorite is of course, Chloe. She’s had her own ups and downs as well as killer mood swings that make Jack yell. And she’d be the one to tell you your dress makes you look fat. But she can make it up to you by getting you some top grade computer hardware at a great discount.

 

Love ya, Little Miss Snarky.

There are a thousand other reasons to love 24, his wedding security skills, nothwithstanding, but perhaps the most endearing are the Jack Bauer sayings and motivational posters littering the web. I leave you with a few awesome offerings:

Jack Bauer shot Helen Keller in the knee to make her talk.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

Jack Bauer is the only reason why Waldo is hiding.

 (H/T Tropic Thunder for the posters)

And he’ll make sure the groom seals the deal at the altar. At gunpoint, if necessary.

If you’ve missed the first episode of Day 9, catch up here!